Happy Valentine's Day, Bastard
by Butterfly Bandage
Summary: Chikusa and Ken, Mukuro had noticed, have a harrowing but interesting relationship, particularly during this time of the year. Vaguely Chikusa/Ken, if you really squint. oneshot


**A/N: **I was gonna write a Ryohei/Hibari oneshot for Valentine's Day, but… then I reread chapter 165, and Chikusa and Ken popped into my head as the two who'd give me the most interesting scenario on this holiday. Not to mention that they're like, my absolute favorite characters in the series. XD Ah, how I love those two… If they seem OOC, I'm sorry, I tried. Chikusa's really hard to write, I've found. His lack of emotion… Augh…

**P.S.** In response to a review: I have a wireless keyboard. XD Enoguh said. I should find a beta... -lazy-

**Summary:** Chikusa and Ken, Mukuro had noticed, have a harrowing but interesting relationship, particularly during this time of the year. Vaguely Chikusa/Ken, I if you really squint.

**Disclaimer:** KEN AND CHIKUSA OWN MY SOUL, even if I don't own them.

**.:X:.  
****Happy Valentine's Day, Bastard  
.****:X:.**

They could band together at times, but the fact remained that those two simply didn't get along.

"Ken."

No answer.

"_Ken._"

Still nothing save for the annoying 'beep beep!' of a Nintendo DS.

Chikusa curses the creators of the God forsaken device as he picks up a piece of wood from the floor, aims, and throws. There is a satisfying 'thunk' to accompany the beeping, followed by a cry, a snarl, and a curse.

"DAMNIT, KAKI-PII, _WHAT_?!"

"Dinner."

The wood comes sailing back at him.

He dodges it easily, of course.

A moment later a mess of honey-blonde hair pops up from behind the couch, and Ken glares at Chikusa with hate-filled amber eyes.

"Damnit, ya stupid four-eyed pork bun, why can't ya just say that instead of throwing crap at me, byon?"

"Because you should naturally answer," Chikusa replies evenly, ignoring the name, his own indigo eyes blazing as well, though he hides it better. Ken makes an impatient noise and disappears back behind the couch. "Whatever, I'm not hungry," he says stiffly over the rumbling of his stomach.

A muscle actually twitches under Chikusa's right eye.

"Fine," he says, turning around and walking out of the room.

This leaves Mukuro wondering interestingly why the two haven't killed each other yet.

Also, why three hours later Chikusa comes back with a steaming plate and set it down next to the couch, to which Ken mutters an embarrassed, "Thanks."

He actually finds it quite fascinating.

**.:X:.**

They were an interesting pair, to say the least. Ken's naturally short temper and animalistic ways caused him to be one of the few things that really annoyed Chikusa. The brunette, in turn, had his calm, even demeanor that drove Ken to the brink of insanity. To Chikusa, it was like Ken was the only thing on this earth that he actually _hated, _and to Ken, it was as though Chikusa was there purely to piss him off on every possible occasion.

Naturally, the two fail to notice the similarities in their overall complete and utter contempt for the other.

Of course, the two also naturally address this on a daily basis, especially whenever they decide to train.

"Oi, Kaki-pii, no needles!"

"We're training."

"What're ya trying to do, kill me?"

Silence, followed by a growling noise and the sound of teeth clicking into place.

"That's it, I'm sick of the way you completely ignore me, ya four-eyed pork bun!"

"And you're an animal. This, however, I do not complain about."

"SHUT UP!"

A crash, a snarl, whizzing, curses, clicking, more curses, wood breaking, more curses, and the eventual sounds of yet another pair of glasses being broken and another uniform being ripped to shreds.

Mukuro almost sighs. More repairs.

Next time he's making the two of them do it by themselves.

**.:X:.**

Even in jail, the two fought. In _jail. _Mukuro could hear them.

"OW! Watch it!"

"Ken, be careful, your head is bleeding again."

"Then stop touching it—OW!"

"You're the one that's making me change the bandage."

"Yeah, well, you don't have nails, byon."

"If you'd stop _scratching _it—"

"But it's itchy!"

"I _know _that." He sounds as though he's explaining three plus three to a five-year-old who hates being criticized. "I've had bandages, too."

"If I recall correctly, you were blown up."

"And you were smacked upside the head with a broken katana, then a tonfa, and then thrown through a glass window."

A beat.

"Shut —OW!"

Mukuro is fairly certain Chikusa won that round.

**.:X:.**

Mukuro also finds that the two of them could get along rather well, which surprises him constantly. He watches them through Chrome, who contemplates them silently from her little spot in the corner, interested despite herself.

"Oi, Kaki-pii," Ken says, staring hard at his DS. "C'mere."

Chikusa, to Mukuro's (and Chrome's, for that matter) faint amusement, does not answer, but instead ignores Ken pointedly.

Ken sighs, looks irritated. "Damnit… c'mere… _please._"

Mukuro had never known Ken was capable of saying that, nor that Chikusa was such a nit-picker. Ah well, live and learn.

Chikusa walks over and leans over the side of the couch. Ken is poking away at his DS as always, but judging by the curses and oaths he raids down on the poor thing, he's not getting far in his game. Obviously, there's something about the game he just can't get past. Chikusa points wordlessly to a spot somewhere on the bottom screen, and when Ken obliges, there is a triumphant "BEEP!" that threatens to give Mukuro a migraine if he stays for much longer.

"Yes!" Ken cries out happily, leaning in closer and tapping away madly. He shoots a quick grin at Chikusa, and a wordless communication passes between them that Mukuro almost doesn't catch, a rare event in itself, as those two are usually easy to read.

_Thanks, stupid._

_You're welcome, jerk._

**.:X:.**

When Valentine's Day rolls around, both Mukuro and Chrome are equally stunned when Ken comes back to Kokuyo land and chucks a bag of Party-sized Snickers bars at Chikusa's head.

"Happy Valentine's Day, bastard," he says grudgedly, looking as though he'd rather be anywhere else at that moment.

Chikusa looks faintly amused. "You got chocolates."

"They were on sale," he snarls, turning an interesting shade of red, Mukuro notes.

Chikusa raises an indigo brow at this.

"You _bought _them?"

Mukuro vaguely wonders how Ken managed this when they're all on the run.

"Yeah, I did," Ken says, still that amusing scarlet color.

"Why?"

"I'll take them back."

Chikusa almost grins at this. "No, thanks."

Ken pouts and looks the other way, embarrassed. "Then stop complaining, byon," he mutters, and starts to walk away, leaving Mukuro almost disappointed. That had been interesting to watch.

Chikusa, on the other hand, says, "Ken."

Ken automatically turns around, and is rewarded with a large bag of Crunch bars thrown into his face. They fall into his hands and he looks stunned beyond all human abilities.

Chikusa turns away and opens the bag of Snickers.

"They were on sale," he says smugly.

Leaving Mukuro certain that, once more, Chikusa won another round.

**.:X:.**

**A/N: **Aaah that was refreshing. XD Reviews, please? Reviews make me happy and keep the fics coming.


End file.
